It’s Saturday morning so I will try to keep this short.
Along my journey I’ve found that sometimes there are certain phrases that pop up at just the right times. That phrase is from Pastor Joel Osteen. The first time I heard it was the very beginning of 2012. I was in the midst of, what I realized later was a very toxic relationship. Which as it turned out, could have ended up literally costing me my life. As a result of domestic violence, at the very hands of the man I thought loved me. I won’t go into the specifics, at least not at this time. But that is important to understand because, listening for signs and acting upon them are critical when you are making a transformation journey. There will be course corrections required all along the way. If you are just going through the motions and not actively engaged in your own life, you will miss the signs.
At any rate, it was that phrase, as I watched Pastor Osteen’s televised service one Sunday morning that was presented to me. He was describing a scenario of a woman in his congregation that he had been ministering to. He said she was always complaining and her overall attitude negative. She was always talking about what she didn’t have, what she didn’t get, how she would never find a man, she would never get married etc. The advice he gave her was this:
He told her, that she was getting the very things she was speaking on (which I whole heartedly believe). He said, she was only getting negative because she was only seeing negative. He told her to go out and purchase a picture frame to sit on her nightstand. He said NOT to put a picture in it, instead to leave it blank/empty. Sit it on the bed side table, but before setting it out. Visual the life she wants. The job, the house, the husband, the family, vacations, pets etc. He said, BE SPECIFIC. Every night for the next, I think it was, 60 days, before bed. Look at the frame and see a picture in that frame that represents the life that you want to have. If you want to be happily married, then that is what you see in that frame. Picture yourself and your husband. Picture his features, picture, the locations, picture the back drop and then pray over it. Overtime you will see changes begin to manifest itself. You will notice that things stop looking quite so negative.
He told her, if you don’t like what you are seeing, “it is time to change the picture in the frame“! As he said that, I caught a glimpse of the picture frame I had on my night stand. It was a photo of me and my then B.F. Ironically I had been contemplating trying to make some changes in the relationship, but hadn’t gotten up the nerve yet. As I sat and stared at the photo, I was barley aware that Pastor Osteen was still talking in the background. But that’s when it dawned on me. It was time for ME to “change” the picture in the frame. Clearly I was not happy with some portions of the relationship, I knew how I wanted them to be, but I could not, see myself becoming my own advocate. Nor could I see it working out where he would accept any recommendations I made for compromise. All I could see was the reasons it would not work, the reasons why I couldn’t. In my mind, up until that day, the tracks from my past, that had framed my identity, were controlling my actions. I didn’t even realize it. I was not fully engaged in my own life. I was trying split my time, trying to manage my life based on the wants and needs of someone else. When you do that, it is impossible to fully engage in yourself. But I tried the technique, I physically took the picture out, left the empty frame standing. And every night I visualized myself having the crucial conversation. I visualized a stronger, more self assured me. I prayed over the situation. Pryed for the right words to use. The right tone of voice and of course the outcome I hoped to get from it.
Until one day, I did it! And it worked. I had the courage to speak to him on behalf of my own personal needs. If you are wondering was he accepting of it…yes and no. He reluctantly agreed, but never did really accept it. Which not long after led to a very brutal demise to the whole relationship. But as I said we will save that for another day.
So if you are struggling to get past some things, and it just doesn’t seem to be going the way you want. Take note of how you are thinking, is it negative? Is it toxic? Are you letting the tracks from your past guide your path to your future?
If so, you know what to do. It’s time to change the picture in the frame.
I bring this up because it’s a great example of a tool that I picked up along the way. One that I frequently revert back to when I find myself struggling to get something going the way I want it to. It is a great visual reminder to manage your thinking and control the self talk that we all have. What it does for me, is it shifts the subconscious thinking to conscious awareness. Thereby forcing full engagement and active participation in my own life.
Hopefully, it will work for you! If you have ideas that work for you or questions on this visualization technique let me know. Also, if you try it out, I’d love to here how it goes for you. Either leave a comment or you can contact me directly below.
Have a great weekend,
Be well, Be Blessed, and Get S.E.T!